


Deja Vu

by CobaltStargazer



Series: Hiding In Plain Sight [3]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/F, Mild Angst, past relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-21 11:36:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1549157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CobaltStargazer/pseuds/CobaltStargazer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erin has done this before. It's why she's avoiding the subject.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deja Vu

When Erin was a junior in college, she had had a relationship with a girl in her dorm, a criminal justice major named Michaela. It was primarily physical in nature, and it ended after graduation, but she'd never forgotten the feeling of another female body pressed against hers under the sheets. The last she'd heard, Michaela was married with kids of her own and lived in Las Vegas, where she worked as a homicide investigator. In the past, she had thought of getting in touch, but the moment would pass and she'd forget about it.

So she knew what this felt like, because she'd been here before.

It had been a mistake to go along with Alex, to let the kiss happen. The possibility of discovery was too great. Erin had worked very hard to get where she was, and she wasn't about to throw all of that away because of some brief moment of enjoyment. She was a married woman with three children, and that meant she should have outgrown the need to act on her impulses. And yet....

And yet.

There had been something so alluring in the brunette's expression, then in the touch of warm lips, that she'd broken her own rule and just let herself feel. Since college, there had been a handful of other women she'd been intimate with, always with the utmost discretion. Her husband had no idea. Erin no longer told him everything. There was a time where she had, but never about that. He wouldn't have understood. Her children wouldn't have understood it either.

The blonde was at her desk, filling out paperwork. She knew Alex wanted to bring up what had happened. She could read it in her face every time the other woman got within five feet of her. But there was no point in discussing it. Perhaps the reason she'd indulged at all was because Alex was also married and therefore had just as much to lose. Better to sweep it under the rug, pretend as if nothing had occurred.

And yet.

Erin would catch herself watching the brunette in the bullpen, watching her and contrasting her with Michaela. Sex with her husband wasn't lacking by any means, but there was something so warm and inviting about being entwined with a body that was just like hers. The softness of breasts, the roundness of a belly, the surprising strength of a woman's thighs. Had Alex does this before too? Was that why she hadn't recoiled when she'd parted her lips and offered her tongue? If she had minded, she would have pulled away. Right?

She was dwelling on it too much. It was a one-time lapse, a slip-up, and it wouldn't happen again. She'd make sure of it.

The blonde stacked some papers and put them in her 'Out' box, then decided to inspect the troops, as it were. As part of Administration, part of hr role was to remain aloof with the agents she supervised, but simultaneously let them know she was present. It was a fine line to walk, but Erin had mastered it. She wouldn't have been made Section Chief if she hadn't. She smiled faintly when she saw the brass nameplate on the office door with her name on it.

The halls were quiet, but there were people in the bullpen. Computer keyboards made muted noises as agents typed reports. Phones rang, and were quickly answered. Men and women conversed in hushed voices. Some of them looked up when Erin appeared. The blonde kept her expression neutral, composed. She was the boss, and that meant she had a part to play.

Alex's desk was near the back, and her dark head was bent over a file. Erin paused. Where had that knot in her stomach come from? She narrowly avoided touching the collar of her starched blouse. Control. Control, control, control...

As if she'd felt the weight of her look, the linguist looked up, and they locked eyes. A questioning look crossed Alex's face, and she made to put aside her work and get up. Erin shook her head, going for 'dismissive' and landing somewhere in the vicinity of 'slightly panicked'. She'd been caught. Again. The brunette's expression shifted, became remote, and she sat back down and picked up the file she'd been going over.

_You should be relieved. You don't want to talk about what happened, remember?_

But Alex had the most beautiful brown eyes.

Erin pulled her mask back into place, became Strauss. She'd made her appearance, and now she should retreat. Like any good leader would. She had more paperwork to deal with, anyway.

She would not think about this again.


End file.
